One of the reasons why men get married is because of sex, and most men make serious mistakes right in the beginning, which cause the greatest blows to their marital relationship.
Muslim men should fear Allaah regarding how they handle their wives during intimacy.
Here is an Hadith narrated Jabir Bin Abdullah [may Allaah be pleased with him], “The Prophet [ ﺻﻠﯽ ﺍﻟﻠﮧ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ ] did not allow sexual intercourse before fondling (the wife).” [Abu Dawood ]
Unfortunately today, when a man gets married, he has already seen a lot of porn or sexually graphic movie scenes, courtesy the different forms of media available to him to satisfy his curiosity, which poison his mind about how to treat a woman, much before he actually brings home a wife.
O Brothers! That innocent sister you bring home has no affinity to that sultry siren you’ve watched on TV – she’s vulnerable, innocent and scared. So be gentle and get her to relax, and don’t cause any irreparable damage by being hasty. In Islam, a woman is a jewel — a gem, which should be taken care of and treated with dignity and respect.
Imam al-Daylami [may Allah be merciful on him] records a narration on the authority of Anas ibn Malik [may Allah be pleased with him] that the Messenger of Allah [ ﺻﻠﯽ ﺍﻟﻠﮧ ﻋﻠﯿﮧ ﻭﺳﻠﻢ ] is reported to have said: “One of you should not fulfill one’s (sexual) need from one’s wife like an animal, rather there should be, between them, foreplay of kissing and words.” [Musnad Al-Firdaws of Al-Daylami , 2/55]
The good Muslim husband should, therefore, forget the marketing policies of pornographic, testosterone-driven industry and focus on the advice of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
Soap operas and romance novels are not the sources from which a couple should be drawing instructions for intimacy. And the best thing is for Muslim brothers to learn to respect women in general, before going into marriage.
Wait bro, let me ask you…How do you view women in general?
Have you ever verbally or mentally used abusive words, such as “bitch”, for any woman? Do you believe, due to your cultural baggage, that women are inherently evil? Do you shout at your mother and sister for not serving you your food or coffee when you ask for it? If so, you really need to change your thinking and attitude towards women before you enter marriage, because a man, who has truly grasped the essence of Islamic teachings regarding the kind treatment of women, will never, ever answer the above questions in the affirmative. And if he does, it is highly likely that he will disrespect his wife, and not be able to keep her happy.
May Allaah ease our affairs and make al-Jannatu Firdaus our eternal abode.
Kindly share this with others.
Jazaakumullaahu khayraan
Rafeeqee Islamic Mentoring
Join rafeeqee.com today
Mentoring website: rafeeqee.com
Discussion forum: rafeeqee.com/forum
Islamic Blog: rafeeqee.com/blog
Youtube Channnel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUzid4N7vQdix3RjvdZgLTQ