Solving Muslim Disputes with Islamic Ethics Despite Individual Differences

One of the prominent challenges facing the Muslim ummah today is the bitterness in disputes, a lot of divisions are caused because of lack of proper ways of solving muslim disputes—whether personal, political, theological, or communal. Disagreements are inevitable in any human society. Likewise, differences of opinion is acceptable, for as far as they are within the tenets of the Deen.

Despite the understanding that humans differ in perspectives and opinions, the Quran and Sunnah strongly emphasize the ethics of disagreement, commanding fairness, compassion, and reconciliation, however, in our society today, it is sad to see that many disputes among Muslims have escalated into personal enmity, public humiliation, sectarian hatred, and even violence.

This article explores the causes and consequences of the unethical mannerisms in conflict, and offers Islamic solutions to resolve disputes based on divine guidance.

 

The Nature of Disputes in Islam

Islam acknowledges the human capacity for disagreement but offers a framework to manage it constructively. Allah (ﷻ) says:

“And do not dispute and [thus] lose courage and your strength would depart; and be patient. Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” (Al-Anfaal :46)

This verse teaches that disputes, if not handled wisely, lead to division and loss of collective strength. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) modeled the highest standard of disagreeing with wisdom and compassion, even with opponents. He (ﷺ) said:

“The most hated person to Allah is the one who is most quarrelsome.” (Al-Bukhari 2457)

Bitterness in Modern Disputes: Symptoms and Causes

Today, many disagreements among Muslims are marked by personal attacks, social media wars, stubbornness, and refusal to forgive. Some common examples include:

• Sectarian disputes turning into hatred.
• Online debates among scholars and students involving insults and slander.
• Family disagreements escalating into lifelong grudges.
• Political and tribal divisions sowing hatred in communities.

The root causes of such bitterness include:

1. Lack of Sincerity (Ikhlas):If the intentions are flawed, disputes often become ego battles rather than truth-seeking missions to resolve a conflict.
2. Ignorance of Islamic Etiquette (Adab): Many Muslims lack knowledge of how the Prophet (ﷺ) and his companions managed disagreements. We are expected to balance both our emotional and rational selves towards the wiser approach by adhering to the best of manners like our predecessors.
3. Pride and Arrogance (Kibr): Arrogance blinds people from admitting mistakes or acknowledging the truth.
4. Influence of Social Media: Modern platforms amplify disputes and reward sensationalism rather than sincere dialogue.
5. Sectarianism and Tribalism: Loyalty to groups or ideologies over loyalty to the ummah creates lasting enmity.

Consequences of Bitterness in Disputes

1. Disunity of the Ummah: The Quran warns that infighting weakens the community:

“And hold firmly to the rope of Allah all together and do not become divided…”

(Al-Imran :103)

2. Corruption of the Heart: Persistent grudges lead to spiritual diseases like hatred, envy, and arrogance.

1. Public Scandal and Fitnah: Disputes aired in public (especially on social media) cause confusion, scandal, and loss of respect for Islam.
2. Delayed Progress: Instead of focusing on da’wah, education, or service, communities become entangled in endless debates.

Islamic Guidelines for Managing Disputes

Islam teaches that managing disagreements with wisdom and mercy is a sign of righteousness. Below are practical, faith-based solutions:

1. Sincere Intention (Ikhlas)

Before entering any debate or conflict, Muslims must purify their intentions. Are we trying to defend the truth or just our ego?

“Actions are but by intentions…” (Al-Bukhari:1)

2. Adopting the Prophetic Etiquette

The Prophet (ﷺ) never allowed disputes to turn bitter. Even when criticized or attacked, he responded with gentleness.

“Verily, gentleness is not found in anything but that it beautifies it, and it is not removed from anything but that it makes it ugly.” (Muslim: 2594)

3. Assume Good of Others (Husn Al-Dhann)

Much bitterness stems from assuming the worst about others. Allah commands us:

“O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin…” (Al-Hujurat :12)

4. Avoid Public Shaming

If correction is needed, it should be done privately. The Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“Whoever covers (the faults of) a Muslim, Allah will cover him in this world and in the Hereafter.” (Muslim: 2590)

5. Seek Reconciliation

Reconciliation is a higher goal in Islam than winning arguments.

“There is no good in much of their private conversation, except for those who enjoin charity or that which is right or reconciliation between people…” (An-Nisa 4:114)

Even if one is wronged, forgiveness is better:

“…But whoever pardons and makes reconciliation – his reward is [due] from Allah.”
(Ash-Shuura:40)

6. Control of the Tongue

The Prophet (ﷺ) said:

“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent.”
(Al-Bukhari 6136)

7. Learning the Science of Ikhtilaf (Differences of Opinion)

Islamic scholarship teaches how to respect valid differences. Imam Ash-Shafi’i and Imam Malik, despite differing opinions, held immense respect for each other. Learning this helps avoid unnecessary conflict.

Practical Solutions for Today

1. Islamic Education Campaigns: Mosques, schools, and social media platforms should educate about adab in disagreements.
2. Conflict Resolution Training: Train imams and community leaders in Islamic mediation and reconciliation.
3. Ethical Use of Social Media: Promote responsible online behavior and hold influencers accountable.
4. Focus on Common Goals: Collaborate on shared objectives like education, poverty alleviation, and da’wah.
5. Personal Accountability: Each Muslim should reflect on whether their behavior is bridging or breaking the unity of the ummah.

Conclusion

Bitterness in disputes among Muslims is not a new challenge, but its scale and intensity today is alarming, and worth looking into minimizing as a community whose ultimate goal is to seek Allah’s Pleasure with hope for Jannah. The teachings of the Quran and Sunnah provide a complete guide to resolving differences with wisdom, mercy, and justice.

The Muslim ummah must return to these divine principles to heal the wounds caused by conflict and build a stronger, united community that pleases Allah and benefits the world.

“And the servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk upon the earth humbly, and when the ignorant address them [harshly], they say [words of] peace.”
(Al-Furqan :63)

May Allah (ﷻ) guide us all to the path of humility, reconciliation, and brotherhood.
Ameen.